As many of you, I see people joining in on this 30 days of thanks bandwagon. I have done it before, but on a little note pad that I kept on my bedside table. I liked the way that it reminded me on a daily that there is ALWAYS something to be grateful for! Always! Today, being day 1....well, technically day 2 because I wasn't sure if I should do this on my blog....I find myself with so many things to be thankful for that I don't know what to put as day one. That is not to say that life is a bed of roses, because it is not. That is why doing this is so important, it gives you a chance to look beyond the weeds that try to suffocate the roses and blind your heart to the little gems that exist beyond the weeds.
Let's begin! I am sitting here at this very moment and every one of my children is in this very same room, including my oldest, my husband....Ahhhhahaahaha! Really though, it is my husband and our 4 kids. One of which is 17 yrs old. Why does this surprise me? I thought the 17yr had his fill of us...lol. I say this because we ALL saw these movies at the theater, they all watched it last night together and here we are again. I am enjoying watching them all repeat lines from the movie and hearing them laugh. My heart is happy....that is an INCREDIBLE UNDERSTATEMENT!
See, if you had asked me when I was my oldest sons age, how many kids I was going to have, the answer would have been a BIG FAT ZERO! I wanted nothing to do with diapers, drooling, feeding, bathing and OMG the endless list that goes with the care of a helpless precious little creature. In my mind, I was going to set off to some big city like New York and be a nurse and have fun being free as a bird. Lol, who was I kidding. The second I met my husband my world was turned upside down. The second I saw the plus sign on that pregnancy test, I was scared, but soooo excited. What was happening to me????
Moving forward, the second I held my son in my arms, my world changed AGAIN! That was when I was sure that I knew NOT A THING!!! When I held the precious little creature I helped create, (mind you, I had spent my childhood avoiding these lil guys. Even going to the extent of walking in to another room, from fear that someone might ask me to hold a little drool monster...lol) my heart literally exploded with a love that I never knew existed. I felt like the Grinch, when is heart grows a million times because he feels the joy of the spirit of Christmas. I loved this lil one, my lil one, with an all consuming love. I can only THANK GOD FOR BLESSING ME FOUR TIMES OVER, TO EXPERIENCE this love!!! When I became pregnant with my second child, I worried. See, in my small mind, I secretly wondered where would I find the capacity to love another child when I felt the love I had for my son was so all consuming. It seemed that every last ounce of love was directed to my son. Where would I find the love???
Moving forward again, the second I held my daughter in my arms, my heart grew to include the ability to love this little baby girl as much as I loved my son!!! After the birth of my daughter, I never doubted the fact that there was enough love in my heart to love each and every child that I was blessed with!
I have been blessed with 4 wonderful, amazing children. They have taught me how to love someone unconditionally beyond my measly and flawed self. So, do you see where day one is going? I am so thankful!! Thankful to infinity and beyond. There are limitations on this language we use to try and express what is felt inside so that others can relate. I can't find the words to accurately tell what is in my heart, my heart that never wanted to be a part of this mommy world, yet would be empty without. Thankfully, I don't have to explain, there are many mothers in this world who are blessed as I am and can share my feelings!
Dear God, I thank you with my entire being, for the opportunity to love these children and care for them when they are sick and when they are well, when they are little angels and little terrors, when they are happy with me and when they are mad at me. Their little hearts are part of my heart....
I AM THANKFUL FOR THESE 4 CHILDREN THAT GOD HAS BLESSED ME WITH!
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