I am broken!

So, it turns out that I am broken. Yup, B*R*O*K*E*N*!!!!! I went to the doctors recently and my thyroid levels are on their way up, iron levels up, energy level up....sounds good....right? Well, I learned from my Dr. that I shouldn't expect to feel normal again. I will always have to be taking this synthetic thyroid hormone and sometimes it will be enough for my body and sometimes it won't and then my medication will have to be readjusted. Turns out this little cute butterfly shaped thingy in your neck area controls everything. That might sound insane, right??? We always think about the major organs controlling primary functions and having "absolute power" (Said in my Yoda voice). Yeah, so that big brain you have floating in those brain juices....yeah, that big guy answers to the delicate butterfly shaped mechanism, those miles of intestines, emotions, weight, sensitivity to cold, the list is endless. My brain is like this....see below....


Yes, unless, I set an alarm on my phone....it ain't happening. One time I forgot my older son at school....whew was he mad. I can think about sayyyyy something I want to Google....I open my laptop and then blank.....the slate has been erased. I try and try and try and sit there and think, I was here to look something up....what was it....it's TERRIBLE! I feel like Dory from Finding Nemo. I get embarrassed and angry. Sometimes I feel like my kids and hubby are all in on a joke when they all tell me, we told you Mommy and I am like, UM, NOOO YA DIDN'T! I would remember THAT!!! I am beginning to accept this, at the same time I do feel that my medication is beginning to help my brain to work again. My hips and shoulders still hurt, stomach issues have calmed. I still have days when I can't eat much. I am still gluten free 95% of the time. I swear, for a period of time I went to Zumba 3-5 times a week (sometimes more) I was trying to eat healthy and I dropped NOT ONE POUND!!! I didn't care because I love Zumba sooooo much. I have this goofy grin on my face the whole time I am trying to groove while tripping over my own two feet. Yeah, I am pretty awesome....hahaha....joking!!! Fact is, I don't care what I look like! The fact that I have went to Zumba and made it through the class is enough to lift my spirits. Before I started treatment, I was no longer able to make it though a class without feeling like passing out or major stomach pains. I am still trying to do research on Hypothyroidism, before treatment my brain couldn't fully assimilate the info. After I read it....gone....ugh!!! This sucks! I am hoping things sink in a little more real soon!

Wrote this a couple of days ago and then WHAMMO! 2 Day migraine coupled with what almost ended in a hospital visit because of horrific stomach pains. Ultrasound next week...wondering if my gallbladder decided to join in on this attack since all my other body parts have been on the attack and it might be considered way too UNCOOL NOT to jump on the bandwagon. Who knows what the heck is happening here! I know WHAT ISN'T HAPPENING!!!! Stuff I like....like cooking and going places with the kids. I have been glued to my laptop, trying to learn more about this crazy disease.

May you all have a wonderful evening! :)